By Dr. Klopek — THE Halloweeniac of Mayfield Place
Ahhh yes, my bony brethren and skeletal sisters! Gather ‘round! I’ve just dug up a titillating little tidbit from the living world — a Harvard study, no less! Those brainy fleshbags concluded that music improves one’s health and well-being. Heart rate down, spirits up, social bonds strengthened! Delightful!
But let me ask you this, dear ghouls and grave-crawlers: What if the music doesn’t soothe the soul … but summons it instead?
Enter: “Halloween Hootenanny”— the devilishly delightful 1998 compilation from Zombie A Go-Go Records! It doesn’t just tingle your spine. It yanks it out and tosses it on the dance floor! Featuring the ghastly greeting of horror host Zacherle himself, this album is a gateway to pandemonium most festive.
Yes! According to monsters everywhere (and believe me, we took a poll in the pumpkin patch at the end of Mayfield Place), “Halloween Hootenanny” is essential for assembling the local undead, banshee, and bog creatures for a raucous night of frightful frolic. It might very well be the perfect soundtrack for Halloween. That’s still up for debate.
Feast your ears on: Rob Zombie’s “Halloween (She’s So Mean)” – a howlin' anthem for your favorite scream queen; The Reverend Horton Heat’s “The Halloween Dance” — the only shuffle guaranteed to wake the dead; And the crucial public service announcement from The Swingin’ Neckbreakers: “No Costume, No Candy.” A rule, a warning, a lifestyle.
Now, if calming music reduces anxiety and makes you feel less alone, imagine what haunting tunes do! That’s right, they crank up the terror, summon the weirdos, and blast loneliness into another dimension.
In other words, it brings the monsters to YOU. (You're welcome.)
So, if you value your safety, your sanity and your solemn solitude, stay away.
Otherwise, crank up “Halloween Hootenanny.”
Find it on Spotify, YouTube or wherever mortals dare stream music.
